On
a Sear's hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(damn, and that's
the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:
..
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(the shoplifter
special)?
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(… and that would
be how??? …)
On some Swanson frozen
dinners:
"Serving suggestion:
Defrost."
(but, it's "just"
a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu
dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside
down."
(well...duh, a
bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer
Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot
after heating."
(... and you thought????
...)
On packaging for a
Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this
save me more time)?
On Boot's Children
Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car
or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot
to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get
those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking
this because???....)
On most brands of
Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor
use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food
processor:
"Not to be used for
the other use."
(now, somebody
out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains
nuts."
(talk about a news
flash)
On an American Airlines
packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe,
uh, fly Delta?)
On a child's superman
costume:
"Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame
the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to
stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was
there a lot of this happening somewhere?)